Random acts of spiritual generosity will get you far but do it for free anyway ! (Part 1)

Setting the base

Some things are just deeply embedded in a culture and drive the collective unconscious in such a subtle way, that we barely notice their subdued impact. One which has caused a lot of trouble in our Christian influenced society is:

Love your neighbor as yourself.

I know many people who have learned this instruction in a distorted way from an early age. They think ”others are worth more than me”, “others come first” and up to the extreme of “I am worth nothing”.

The damage is terrible particularly with women who are taught from an early age that they should be good girls (whatever this means, it often implies “don’t be yourself”). A tragedy.

The Christian principle didn’t say “more” or “less”, it said “as”.

Ultimately, we want to realize there is no difference between I and you. But with such a distortion it doesn’t come naturally.

How do we correct it?

Well, if you really cherish and respect yourself, you can also cherish and respect others.  That’s where it starts.

When I was just graduating from business school, my philosophy teacher gave me a very good piece of advice: “You need to be more selfish first”.

Now he didn’t mean that I should feed my ego and pride or become competitive. What he really meant is that I should first build a strong foundation of love and kindness to myself before I could in turn be compassionate to others.

Energy comes and goes and you can only give if you are charged yourself; you can only give freely if a deprived self doesn’t come back to haunt you with jealousy and bitterness.

So let’s have a look within and genuinely ask yourself:

• Am I that safe harbor?
• When I think of myself, does it make me smile?
• Do I feel safe and secure within myself?

If you can’t genuinely feel a strong yes, then start working on it now! Drop the judgments and labels, the “I am so unfortunate in life”, “I can’t make it, “I am not worth it”, “I am not good enough”, “I am a victim” and whatever other voices you’ve grown  accustomed to let flow in your mind.

These labels will never get us anywhere so we might as well drop them for good and focus on what really matters: give ourselves tenderness, appreciation, gratitude and love. Better start now:-)

Now that you have built your safe harbor, you want to leave the port!

PeeledOnion is self-help and personal development blog for all brave souls who want to take ownership of their destiny and make happiness a reality everyday! Your comments and suggestions are welcome to spread happiness!